Being ‘Nice’ to everyone doesn’t bring Happiness

It took Janice forty something years to realize she had the word ‘nice’ in her name.

At school she can’t remember playing the game to check what words could be made from your name, otherwise she says she might have realised earlier.

Being nice to everyone has had a detrimental affect on Janice’s life because unknowlingly it was at her own expense. Over the years searching for a reason for her unhappiness, ‘being nice’ provided the clue. She needed to learn to be nice to herself first and everyone else secondary. She hadn’t been doing that!

So now using Janice – the lady with nice’ as a marketing tool in her new professional speaking business constantly reminds her to put herself first. She had a fantastic childhood, with family, friends, camping, sports, sailing and weekends away. At primary school she’d been the head prefect but for some reason at high school, turned the invitation down. In those teen years she started saying ‘no’ to things that in hindsight would have been beneficial in her life. Those leadership and communication skills emerged after some years in hiding.
Unknowlingly she grew into a peacemaker. In some ways society bred that.

The ‘see but don’t hear syndrome’, don’t skite it’s bad manners and doing things to keep other people happy mentality. Society had people thinking it was selfish to think of themselves first.

Consequently as a peacemaker she didn’t form opinions, have answers to questions, or thought deeply about life’s challenges. In hindsight, she says she didn’t value herself but then didn’t really know she had to. Like thousands of New Zealanders and millions of people worldwide Janice was lacking in high self-esteem
Her low self-esteem caused her to enter an unsatisfactory marriage. The night before she left, she cooked plum jam. It gave her something to do the night before the big move out, she said. It meant she wasn’t so worried about the bags of clothes and toys hidden under the beds being discovered.

Packing the car the next morning was done in a rush. Bags, toys, clothes, baby buggies and high chairs, then finally the 3 year old and 18month old toddler into the baby seats and she was off.

Phone calls up north and maps were drawn of her hideaway at her sister’s new home in Hamilton. A quick dash driving around the back streets to full the car with petrol, and finally onto the motorway and off. Leaving an unhappy marriage was one of the best moves in her life, something even with the huge challenges, she’s never
regretted.

It was the beginning of an exciting personal journey. Ultimately throughout the journey her thoughts, desires, dreams and goals were crystallized. Understanding that adversity teaches wisdom and therefore her constant challenges taught her new skills, was some consolation for her struggles.

Janice learnt that she had her natural skills and talents for a reason. Her role was to teach others. This has lead to an exciting career as a motivational speaker and Success Coach for people in their business and personal life. Teaching them about attitude, effective communication, leadership and goal-setting, dealing with stress, to
strive for their own gold medal, their own dreams and becoming the best person they choose to be
As a Success Coach, she’s teaching people to search for their values, improve their self-esteem, and being ‘nice’ to themselves first is OK and imperative on their journey to their personal success.

Her motto is you’ve got a choice whether to ‘sink’ or ‘swim’…the answer is to always go for. Swim!